Archive for the 'Health' Category

Fat

Published
by
C.G.
on January 13, 2006
in Health and Life
. 0 Comments

I’m getting fat.

When I was in my mid 20’s, I gained a lot of weight. I was working an 8 to 6 job with a two hour commute and lazy eating habits. I had stopped running after I graduated high school and just ate what I wanted in college. Working a full time job like the one I had made things worse and I found myself eating two sausage, egg, and cheese sandwiches a day for breakfast and probably the same for lunch. I was 140-150 in high school and ballooned to 215-225. I was fat.

But something happened one day that made me change… a new year’s party where I vowed to quit smoking lead to the following new year’s pledge to eat right. That then followed the next year’s resolution to go to the gym. Within a year, I had lost 65 pounds and gained muscle to boot by getting to 150-155 again. People today wouldn’t even think I was that heavy but I was.

Last year I stopped going to the gym regularly again… I over exerted myself one day and took a two week break from exercise to heal and recover. But I never got back into the routine and I slowly got out of shape again. I’m not even close to the weight I once was but probably in the 165 range with a definite loss in muscle mass.

Not being fit and stressed about things in my life (personal and professional) is keeping me from sleeping. I went to bed a 2AM last night and was exhausted this morning. Knowing that exercise can help people sleep in many ways (better health, forcing one to become tired, etc.) I did get to the gym twice this week and will slowly get back into a more common routine and I think this revelation of me getting fat again will get me there.

This morning, when I tried on my jeans, they were tight. In fact… all my jeans are tight on me. I ripped my favorite pair a few weeks ago and I know that was a sign that I needed to pay attention to. But this morning sent me over the edge. Either its me (or the jeans) are making the fat in my legs extra wobbly and I feel the extra flab there more than ever. It makes me sick, actually, and I want to run out to the gym right now to lift some weights or run a mile.

To make sure I don’t fall off the wagon again, I’m going to use this blog as a fitness log and I will record my exercise activity and post the results of my efforts.

After all, I can’t let my trusty readers down (or me).

Can’t sleep

Published
by
C.G.
on January 4, 2006
in Health
. 0 Comments

It’s just past 5:30am and I can’t sleep. I’ve been like this for several days and its been weeks since I had a good night’s rest. All the stuff that’s going on in my life that’s stressing me I know will work out in the end but it still makes for a restless night.

I’ve been doing some research and its helping me pass the time but not making me sleepy. Normally (yes this happens so often I can call this event normal), I try to do a crossword puzzle or even listen to my iPod; they distract my mind long enough to let me sleep. Tonight, however, I couldn’t even focus on the crossword puzzle and I didn’t want to listen to my music. I didn’t want to toss and turn all night so I got up and decided to read something on the computer. I don’t generally don’t read books because they either bore me to tears or captivate me so much so that I never put them down.

Making things worse for me is my cold. I’ve had a cold for a month now and while I was better - but not completely over it - for two weeks, I am now getting worse and the stuffy nose, post-nasal drip, and general achyness (is that a word?) are making it nearly impossible to get comfortable. I’ve already taken Claritin-D to help with the sinus pressure; even for a cold, it works very well - and 24 hours! I don’t want to mix that with NyQuil or some other related medicine for fear that I’ll be over doing it or they will interact.

So I’m waiting for the sun to come up while I type away. Maybe I’ll go to work early or something. My wife says I should get back to the gym - one of my new year resolutions - so that I exhaust myself and force my body to sleep. I like the idea and all but with what I have going on, I can’t take the time yet.

No rest for the weary, I guess.

Just letting you know…

Published
by
C.G.
on January 3, 2006
in Health, Life and Work
. 0 Comments

I don’t normally blog at work. In fact, I think its a really dangerous idea and I do not recommend anyone do it. That being said, however, I did want to take this quick ‘lunch break’ opportunity to tell everyone that, right now, I’m feeling pretty good about myself (because I know you care) and things are looking upbeat despite my life being very stressful at the moment.

Those who know who I am can rest easy knowing that I am on top of things and have everything I can control under control.

That is all.

Rut

Published
by
C.G.
on November 18, 2005
in Health and Life
. 0 Comments

I’m in a rut and I don’t know how to get out of it. Its affecting my posting - not the number but the quality. I’ve got 3 or 4 draft posts that I just can’t seem to finish because I just can’t get myself to focus. Its also affecting my daily routines and even work. For me to get out of my rut, I need to spend some time alone. I’ll use the time to meditate, write, exercise, or just simply ponder about where I am, where am I going, and where do I really want be.

I don’t want to call how I’m feeling depression. I’ve been through that before in a very serious way and I know the warning signs; trust me, I’m no where near that. But I am feeling a little depressed. Those who know the difference between feeling depressed and depression will understand. The first is like the blues - but not as serious as the blues. One of these days I’ll explain the blues but in ranking sad feelings it goes something like this:

Sad
Down
Depressed
Blue
Depression
Suicidal

Its, by no means, a scientific ranking and I’m sure there is some “expert” out there who’ll call me way off base. He or she might even say I’m doing the truly depressed a disservice by saying what I have but the hell with them. They don’t know my story (yet).

Anyway, feeling depressed isn’t always a bad thing as long as one gets out of it. When someone can’t get out of it (usually because they are so depressed they don’t know they are depressed), that’s when its a bad thing. And while feeling depressed isn’t a picnic, it makes me think in ways I usually don’t. As a result, I ask some seriously existential questions and come up with rather existential answers to most of them with the other questions answered in some pragmatic - but not-so-compassionate way. Remind me to tell you what I think of religion or death one day and you’ll understand what I mean. Right now, I’m depressed. Not blue, and certainly not suffering from depression. I’m in a rut and have been in it for a long enough time to be depressed (about three or four days, now).

I’m sure I’ll get out of it soon, though. Since I did get over my serious depression years ago, I’ve been very good at being aware of my moods and conscious about how I manage my feelings. In the past, I’ve been able to identify that I am depressed (like I just did now) and realize that I have to monitor it so it doesn’t get worse. To make sure I don’t get worse, I also try to find out why I’m depressed. Right now, there are a few things that are getting me down so addressing them will not be easy. Furthermore, not all of them are under my direct control and it would be life altering to remedy them - something I am sure will make me more depressed in the long run.

What I need to do is meditate like I want. If I can get away for a day or two, I’ll be able to come to terms with what’s bothering me and work to resolve the conflict. After a good time alone, I’m sure I’ll come back with clear mind, rested body, and energetic spirit.

Now if I could find some time to spare…