Monthly Archive for April, 2006

Unfocused

Published
by
C.G.
on April 24, 2006
in Work
. 0 Comments

I can’t seem to concentrate today. Obviously, this is affecting my work. I’m only posting because I feel like I need to something to get my mind off of whatever it is that’s keeping me from focusing.

Its not as easy as it seems, though.

I don’t know what’s on my mind or why I can’t focus. I know my mind is going a mental mile a minute and that I’m thinking of lots of different things virtually all at once. The problem is I can’t seem to concentrate on one task, object, or thought for more than a few seconds. I’ll soon get distracted with some other thought and won’t be able to return to what was - and what I should be - working on.

My wife and I are both struggling with our job satisfaction. She might not want to work and become a soccer mom - something that involves being a mom (and also something that we are working towards and, therefore, on my mind). I’m not looking to leave my job even with all the problems I have with it because I still believe in the company but I struggle to make the environment exciting and fresh.

I desperately want a car. I feel a little cramped right now and long to drive the open road. I miss the freedoms a car can offer and look forward to a time where I can be spontaneous and take a quick weekend jaunt somewhere away from the city - especially when the warm weather arrives. But I have to figure out if we can afford the car we want and, if we can’t afford it, what next. Do we save up for it? Do we get a different car that won’t excite me or meet our ‘needs and desires’? And if we can afford it, how (or what) do we sacrifice?

My eyes continue to bother me. I’m still waiting to see if I’m a candidate for laser corrective surgery and until I know, I won’t be able to wear my contacts. If I can’t get the work done, I can go back to contacts but have to find a pair that won’t infect my eyes like the other kind did. If I can get the procedure done, I can’t wear my contacts ever again. It will mean more headaches and squinting and all the problems that come with not being able to see.

I’ve got a lot of work to do at home, too. I’m washing and ironing my shirts now to save money and to keep the cleaners from messing up my shirts by over pressing (i.e. burning). I’ve also got a lot of filing to do and I’ve got to work with my financial planner on a few things - like FedEx my tax return. I also have loads (no pun intended) of laundry to do and the apartment hasn’t been cleaned since we moved in.

I’ve got all these frustrations and thoughts in my head making focusing very difficult.

Subscribe to SICTT

Published
by
C.G.
on April 20, 2006
in Uncategorized
. 0 Comments

Its been a slow afternoon so I’ve been taking this opportunity to browse the Interweb for interesting news stories and articles on cool technology. Somehow, I came across FeedBlitz. FeedBlitz allows articles posted on personal blogs to be delivered in email form to a subscriber’s inbox.

Its in ‘opt-in’ system that works only if someone enters an email address and clicks the subscribe button. That way people don’t have to actually visit the site to read the latest post. The free version - from what I can tell - only updates once a day. If you pay the 5 bucks a month, you can customize the look and feel of the email and the frequency of delivery. I just might try it to see if my commercial blog can take advantage of the service.

So if no one minds, try out the subscription feature of So It’s Come To This.

Eyes

Published
by
C.G.
on April 18, 2006
in Eyes
. 0 Comments

So after I got Pink Eye, I went to my optomolgist for a follow-up and second opinion. While there, I told him I was really interested in laser vision correction. He explained it in more detail than he had done before and I still wanted to move forward on it.

Part of the prep work to are if I am a good candidate for the procedure is to go without my contacts for two weeks per decade of use. Have worn contacts since I was 16 so I’m supposed to wait three weeks before I can get fitted - and I still won’t know if I can get the surgery untill he does, what is essentially an ultra sound on my eyes, to make sure the laser won’t cut the cornea too thin.

I’ve got to take a series of measurements to make sure that any errors can be eliminated. This means drops and exams and discomfort for a few weeks.

I hope that I can get the correction done. It would mean no more contacts for me. No more blurry vision and no more maintanence. No more cases to but and no more solution. No more second guessing my sight and no more self conciousness about squinting.

If I can’t get this done, i’ll be forced to get contacts again and will be miserable knowing I have to do this crap forever. I can’t get glasses because one eye is so bad that the lenses will distort the image more than it will focus it.

So its laser correction or bust for me.

Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry.

My job sucks!

Published
by
C.G.
on April 11, 2006
in Work
. 0 Comments

After that lengthy post about being bored, I can also say that my job sucks too.

I’m supposed to be in charge of IT strategy but instead, I’m treated my a fucking whipping boy who acts like the technology mechanic. I’m not involved in any strategy or planning and only am brought in when expected to do the grunt work. I’m an over paid help desk guy.

Bah!

I’m so pissed off right now, I can’t see straight!!!

The fucking printer doesn’t work and, although I’m not supposed to order supplies, I’m expected to know where they are at all times. And, it feels, be around the office 24/7.

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

This job sucks!

Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry.

Bored

Published
by
C.G.
on April 11, 2006
in Life
. 0 Comments

I’m bored. But not just right now - I’m bored almost all the time. Mostly at work, though. In life, too, I feel unchallenged and feel the need to break out of a shell that surrounds my creativity, excitement, and passions. Its like I’m in a mid-life crisis and I need to rebel, get a two seater convertible, or some other impractical car.

But I don’t want to be impractical. I don’t want to play things super safe either but I’m looking for something that will change my life for the better and give it more excitement, meaning, and fun. So far, all I’ve come up with is going back to school. But not to finish my education - I do have a bachelors degree in computer science - rather, to law school or get my MBA in something not related to computers.

This is not an easy decision to make - so hard, in fact, that I haven’t made it yet. But I am very interested in what having a law degree or an MBA in something can do for me. I’m also worrying about the costs and question my ability to pay for it. I’m also a little worried that I won’t do well and will struggle to pass or worse, fail completely. But one of the hardest things to wrestle with us the return on the investment. Us the extra education worth it?

On the one hand, there are the extra knowledge I get. It certainly will be cool to be well versed in legalese or operational theory or even marketing strategy. It could come in handy even if I continue to stay in the computer field I’ve chosen. It could even help me in my personal life and help me be a better husband and father (when that day comes) because I’ll be exposed to new ideas on management and my rights under the law (if we still have rights). The networking will be very helpful and I’m sure I’ll meet lots of smart people who share my goals and values in life. I’m sure I could use them to find a new job if I wanted (or give them a job working for me).

But that’s the thing about the job part. I’m not sure the networking or the knowledge I get will increase my salary enough to justify the nearly 120K it will cost. If my wages grow by 20K a year, its still 6 years to pay it off and we aren’t talking about the taxes, lifestyle changes, and the fact that I’m not going to pay off the loans in 20K chunks a year.

It will also mean that my nights and weekends are shot studying and who knows what kind of sacrifices my lovely wife would have to make. She’s supportive but there is only so much you can ask a person to do or not do for the sake of your boredom. And with the lost time means little or no chance of getting to the gym and, therefore, the risk to my health. I’ve already gained weight since I started my new job last August and I’m beginning to feel the adverse effects of letting myself go (like love handles, wider waist, and less energy).

So, I’m stuck in a boredom rut and thinking this might be my way out of it. But this shouldn’t be the way to get me out of this situation. But I’m hard pressed to find something that’s going to challenge me.

Sigh.

Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry.